Will My Brother EVER Learn? (A Harley Post)

You see mum put solar panels on the roof.

SOLAR

Now she only does electrical things in the day time.

And…

She has turned into an electrical Nazi. She switches everything off at the switch. She says AGL are robbers and so to stop them robbing us, Mum has started this new ‘switch off’ regime.

I deal with robbers by barking and I’ve never spotted this AGL person so they must come in through the sockets? That’s why mum turns them off I think.

Anyway…

Nazi mum forgot to turn off the dryer at the socket. The dryer is in the dressing room. It has to stay there until mum gets someone to put it on the wall in the laundry. So for now it is on the floor and powered by an extension cord that plugs in and switches on in the bedroom.

This morning while mum slept in, Duncan the Disastrous ate the extension cord!!

Mum didn’t even hear him. He chewed the end off and then chewed it into bits!!

WIRE

 

When mum woke up it was because the house alarm was going off. Mum saw the wires and Duncan got a really long yelling at.

Mum yelled things like:

‘Beautiful Duncan! You could have killed everyone!’

‘What have you done to the alarm system Duncan? Have you eaten those wires too?’

‘Now I will have to get an electrician out and they are robbers! Saturday electrician prices! Duncan!!!’

It seems like there are lots of robbers in this area.

Mum made a cup a coffee and kept mumbling at Duncan. When she went to get the milk, the fridge light was off.

Away she went again!!

‘Good God Duncan!! Have you disarmed the entire house by eating the extension cord?’

‘Is the house alive?’

She went outside and locked us in. I don’t know what she did. Maybe she caught a robber. I heard heaps of banging and mum said bad words.

Then mum came back in and she told Duncan she would skin him. He didn’t care. He just wanted toast.

The fridge light came back on and the house alarm stopped making a noise. Mum had a coffee and calmed down. We all had toast and I went back to bed with mum. Duncan got on the bed too. Mum didn’t throw him off and she didn’t skin him. That was lucky for him.

We are all alive thanks to mum.

Duncan is so dangerous that I am going to have to step up guard duty when he is home. Life is safer when he is at his kindy. Well for us, but God help his kindy.

It’s a good thing mum finally sorted out my fringe. I can’t really catch robbers when I can’t see them.

SHEEP

Now I can see. This is my ‘eagle eye’ pose.

HARLEY

And I can be totally magnificent and keep the place safe. Ill watch for robbers in the switches and Ill hunt Duncan every time he moves.

I am Harley the Monumentally Magnificent Responsible Boy. I should work for SAPOL but they go for Beagles and German Shepherds.

In the meantime my job is to keep mum and us safe. And maybe the geraniums…Dunc has them in sights too.

‘For the love of all things Holy…He is relentless.’ That’s what mum says sometimes.

Sometimes she says, ‘BL**DY H*LL!’

She always says, ‘Good Boy Harley Barley Barley Boy.’ That’s to me.

I make a difference, you know :)