Anyone seen my Dad?
I know I have one.
He is a tall guy but on the shrink.
He has grey hair because he is moving on through his 70’s.
He wears moleskin jeans and has shiny boots. Sometimes he wears a Stetson.
He likes his collar up, pastel jumpers and ‘Mr Pink’ handkerchiefs.
He is bossy and sarcastic and always right.
He drives a flash car, likes a gin and tonic, a red wine or a rum. He is best when not having a scotch.
He eats about twice a week, is as skinny as they come, has a crook back and lives in Robe.
He is married to my step mother but she can’t live with him because she had a stroke. She lives in Adelaide and he visits often. I believe.
He owns a dog called Woolly Woofta.
Political correctness is not his strength.
He has got a few kids. Half he doesn’t like. Neither do I, so we agree on that.
He has been my dad for 50 years. Well maybe 40. He forgot for a little while.
He taught me about riding horses and swimming and rounding up cattle and he even tried to teach me water skiing. I did water ski but perhaps it wasn’t one of those skills I excelled at.
He was a sportsman and liked jumping things. I think he was a state high jumper when he was at school. He also twirled this baton. I’m not sure why!
He likes barbecues and gardening.
He was a livestock buyer and a farmer and allergic to sheep, horses and cattle.
He had polio as a teen and one leg is shorter than the other so he has an odd walk, I copied it. Thanks dad.
So now you have a profile.
And just as I was about to ask you all to keep an eye out for him, I had one more attempt at getting him on the phone for Father’s Day…
‘Im watching the bloody footy Rach with a mate who is having a red and I’m having a beer. Your sister rang earlier from somewhere up north, your brother sent a text and I love the pressies you posted – same as last year darl!’
Yes the presents were the same as last year – NONE!
I explained that to buy him a present would shock him, to shock him may mean death. ‘It’s your age you know dad!’
…I’m sure I am not the only one with a family that easily slips into the category of disfunctional!!