Just be a unicorn…

I’ve had a toothache.

I’ve had it for days and days.

On the weekend it was so bad I even tried to rip the tooth out myself.

I couldn’t do it.

I Googled ’emergency dentist port augusta.’ NOTHING!

I Googled ’emergency dentist port pirie.’ NOTHING!

I Googled ’emergency dentist whyalla.’ NOTHING!

Only option left: SELF MEDICATE! I did just that. Pain pills and sleeping tablets…

I survived the weekend and I survived Monday.

Today is Tuesday.

I went to the dentist.

I thought this was the dentist place and I sat and watched for a while to see the state of people when they left the building.

It was the wrong building! I’d cased the wrong joint!


I went next door to the right building.

I hate dentists. Most people hate dentists. I think my hate is double the hate of most people.

Im terrified of them. They aren’t normal. They are secretive and do secretive things to you.Things you cant see.

They use instruments, implements, suction gadgets, gauze swabs and they smile while they use them.

They speak to you when you cant speak back. They crack jokes that aren’t remotely amusing.

They make you wear a bib and sunglasses.


They charge you a lot of money.

My visit. 10:45am:

Dentist (D): How are you?

Rachel (R): I dont think I like you.

D: Put your bag there and sit in the chair.

I did.

D: What’s the problem?

R: You have to take out my tooth, it hurts and it’s been hurting for days.

D: Open your mouth.

R: NO.

D: I need to look at your teeth.

R: NO. You need to just take out the back one. I cant have adrenalin. I can have anything else. Can you put me to sleep? It would be best, I think.

D: No. No one puts you to sleep in Pt Augusta. Open your mouth.

I open my mouth. The secretive little man has a silver stick thing in his hand. He didnt mention silver stick things. He said a LOOK. You LOOK with your eyes, not silver sticks!

I shut my mouth.

R: What’s that?

D: Im going to feel around the tooth.

R: No youre not, it will hurt me. You said, LOOK! You have to tell me everything. I need to know everything!

D: If you are going to keep behaving like this I will be unable to treat you.


That sorted me out. I had to make friends with this secretive, pain inflicting man whether I liked it or not.

The lady who was there but wasnt there – she came and went as she pleased – asked me what would help?

‘I want to hear singing. I want to hear someone singing!’

Why did I say that?

Who was going to sing to me?


After the initial examination it became apparent that I needed to make choices.


1. Root canal treatment.

2. Extraction.


$1500 and ongoing visits.

The man was quite clearly out of his mind!

Why would he want to see ME more than once??? I wasnt making his morning easy…

R: Option 2 please Dr.

The first injection caused problems.

Problems for me, that soon became problems for him…

D: Just breathe in and out.

R (inside my head): TRULY? YOU IDIOT MAN! DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO BREATHE IN AND IN OR OUT AND OUT! There is only ONE way to breathe and that IS IN and bloody OUT!

Injection 2, 3, 4 and 5 were better. No yelling just breathing in and out while he was having the time of his life playing in his playground of choice – other people’s mouths.

D: OK. Now I am going to see how much infection is under the tooth. If there is too much, I will give you antibiotics and you will come back.

R: No I WONT! You have to take this out now. FAST. Now and really FAST…please. I cant come back. I don’t like it here.


I cried.

He complained about me again. He said I was being unreasonable and he had to do the best thing for me. I wanted to argue but I knew I wasn’t in a position to win.

I apologised because he had the tools and he was the only one who could make me better.

D: Now lie down.

Back to lie down position. I didnt know Id even sat up!

D: You are going to feel pressure. DO NOT confuse it with pain. DO NOT make me stop.

I braced myself. I pretended to be a unicorn. Im not sure why.



D: I dont know until I begin.

R: Come on you must know. You took an x-ray. Go and look at the x-ray.

D: Please lie down again. Maybe it will be quick.

I bet he praying it was going to be quick!

Think like a unicorn. Think like a unicorn…


A few crunches and it was out.


He shoved gauze in my mouth and told me not to speak for 45 minutes. I think he was tricking.

I think he just didn’t want me to speak to him any more.

I dont think we had anything left to say. I muttered a thank you though.

Now I am pain free. Or will be when the pain of his handy work goes away.

I am left wondering though…

What makes a person become a dentist? Stay a dentist? Must be the tools…cant be the conversation!